Take this test to discover once and for all if you are a true Leeds fan. No long, detailed responses required, just put a ring round your answers. Preferably after printing them off, or you’ll ruin your computer.
Bromby or Bruce? (1 point for correct answer)
Alan Smith: forgiven, or destined for Hell? (1 point)
Ken Bates: safe pair of hands or a beard with an evil git hanging off it? (1 point)
Who would win a three-way fight between Richard Naylor, Enoch Showunmi and Robert Molenaar? (2 points)
That’s rubbish, obviously. You can’t judge a person’s dedication to their team by the way they answer questions as inane as these, not least because there’s no definite answer to any of them. But there is some method in this madness; I asked a random selection of (probably rather confused) Leeds fans the above questions and, crucially, no two fans came out with the same combination of answers. Interestingly enough, though, the overwhelming majority believed that Robert Molenaar could not only flatten Naylor and Showunmi, but also take out the entire Man United back line on his own.
The point arising from all this is that there is no set of fans so wonderfully eager to all disagree with each other as we are. Take one look at any Leeds United message board and you’ll see fans doggedly arguing with complete conviction that Grayson was right to pick Paynter over Becchio, or that Ramon Nunez holds the key to our promotion. Everyone’s got an opinion, and everyone’s right, of course. It must be a Yorkshire thing.
Every aspect of the club is a potential battleground for fan conflict. The manager? Loved and revered by most of us, but just look how quick some fans have been to call for his head when results haven’t gone our way. Luciano Becchio? When he’s scoring he’s the king of LS11, but if he goes through a dry patch he’s quickly usurped by Davide Somma. Elland Road? To some it’s the only place we could ever call home, but that didn’t stop people working themselves into a frenzy when the madness of the Ridsdale era threw up plans for a shiny new stadium.
But hang on, I hear you say, there’s something every single Leeds fan agrees on. It’s big, red, lives on the other side of the Pennines and is reviled by every Leeds fan between the ages of 9 and 90. Surely we can all agree that we all hate Man United?
Well, to an extent, yes, we can. I’m yet to meet a Leeds fan with any kind of passing affection for Man United, indeed the idea’s almost too silly to contemplate. But there’s various degrees of hatred, and it’s here that we come to disagree once again. If I saw Ryan Giggs about to walk in front of a 20-wheel juggernaut, I’m pretty sure I’d stop him. There’s one bloke I know who would more likely shove him into the road, wait for the gruesome ‘squish’ and then run off, cackling with maniacal laughter. Don’t get me wrong, if Man United fell into the same financial maelstrom that we did I’d find it hilarious, but I can’t honestly say that I hate them in the way that those fans who merrily sing about Munich like it’s some kind of joke.
So, if we’re all hard-wired to disagree with each other, is there any kind of happy future for the club, or are you doomed to spend every season bickering with the bloke sitting next to you? To answer this, I refer you to the scenes of 8 May 2010, when the sound of the referee’s final whistle caused 40,000 individuals to react with one voice, and in that moment all of our differences vanished. Success unites us.
A little harmless debate never killed anyone, if anything it keeps our passion alive, and it doesn’t make someone less of a true fan if they disagree with you. We’re a divided fanbase, true, but I reckon we’re stronger for it. What do you think?
I couldn’t disagree with you more!!!
Perfect!
Well, I disagree with Jon, so agree with you… well… kinda… I think I’d have pushed Giggs.
1.Bromby
2. Destined for Hell
3.Evil beard git
4. Molenaar.
Am I a shit Leeds fan?
Yes, a good argument makes life worthwhile. And any Yorkshireman who isn’t certain he’s right is getting soft.
Mind you, there are other sites where your replies are deleted if you happen to disagree with the moderator, even politely, and you make a valid point that gets too close to showing he might be wrong. Bet you know which I mean.
Did anyone older than ten actually not say Molenaar?
But what if it was Molenaar, Hunter, Charlton, Bremner, Giles, Reaney, Jordan and Jones (V, that is, not M)? I reckon the answer is… none of them, because they wouldn’t fight each other when there’s the rest of the world to sort out.
Sounds like an LUFC version of The Expendables. Now THAT would be worth seeing.
Warning: Man steps on his soapbox alert/
‘Tis a fact, that opinions are like @rseh*les: everyone has one.
Disagreement is part of life for Leeds fans and I am sure a similar scope of disagreement exists within all clubs.
But it’s when people get started with opinions on other things then their opinions are, in fact, often better connoted with the waste product emitted from said aperture of the bottom.
There’s nowt worse than being stuck with someone who speaks from a state of general ignorance; there’s nowt as boring as hearing some twt spout a dose of a shte.
Ask said drivellers for a fact behind the spouted drivel and they, well, shrink into oblivion of dribbling utterances along the line of, “well, you know, I am just saying..blah blah…well he is a *&^% etc etc” ad nauseum, as they find out for themselves they are an ignoramus whose opinion is based on foundations of random whims and prejudices with not a fact in sight.
/Man gets of said soapbox
1 – Anyway, Bates continues to rip us fans off with smoke & mirrors. Just sayin’
2 – Smith’s okay. He’s got a job to do, family to look after. Or is he gay? If so, no problem, but he did do gay hairstyles. Just sayin’ like, I mean he is a good bloke and would fight to the end, which given he is gay, or some say but not me, then can’t say owt bad about him.
3 – Bromby’s a Leeds fan so he’s a gud ‘un. Can do a job if Grayson would only pick him week in week out. Just sayin’ Grayson’s a divvy for not picking him, does he not watch the games?
4 – And surely Enoch and his most infamous weapon would kill anyone in a fight? I mean like his c*ck is legend or is that a leg-end, not sure, just sayin’ like, but you know, he’s a big man, and you wouldn’t want a mess wiv’ im. Mind you Molenaar is Dutch and he would probably bite it off like as them Dutch eat funny things don’t they, so I hear. My bruvver went to Amsterdam once and he said they eat things you’d would not pick up off the street. Just sayin. And Nayls well, he is tough as, and well, I don’t know, he is a Leeds fan, and therefore he’d win. Yeh, no probs. Just sayin like.
Edmondo
I used to contribute to the squareball a lot with comments and poems, still buy it at games. I find it very very difficult to hate Smudger as I got to know him very well and have continued to stay in touch. I think all that matters is we support the team regardless and agree to disagree on certain things. as long as the current team does the business and Grayson gets his finger out and sorts the defence I’ll be happy. however….it’s my birthday tomorrow and although I’m just two years off 30 (almost) there’s only one thing I really want. have a go and start spouting off but no one felt more depressed and lost when we got relegated. I didn’t just lose my favourite player, I lost part of my dedication to the cause for a while, mainly because I got fed up of being abused for still going to games in a smith shirt.
I hope he comes back one day but I fear a vociferous minority may put paid to it.
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