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Hello! Welcome to another Tuesday edition of 31/7. It contains:
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- A fat dose of revelling in rivals' despair
- Two very fine goals
- One very bad miss
- Two Skinners going head to head
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I’m pleased to report that it’s been a terrible weekend for fans of Manchester United.
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I know that this is a women’s football newsletter, but I have to mention Marcus Rashford’s goal against City because it was just so nice. You know that any strike that has you like this is going to have some serious heft behind it:
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The crossbar just about stayed in one piece after slamming Rashford's shot into the net via the goalline, but the spirits of City fans were broken as the only person in the world who I can tolerate profiting off of Man Utd celebrated with the away fans at the Etihad.
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As Manchester derbies go, it was perfect. A polite young man scores a wondergoal before the world’s most despicable team bottle it and lose 3-1 to their most bitter rivals? Love is free, and so are Scum tears.
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Alright then, onto the girlie wirlies. It was all looking pretty neat for Marc Skinner’s players when Rachel Williams gave the Reds the lead just four minutes into their game against West Ham on Sunday.
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Showing no respect for the country which hosted her last summer, Katie Zelem spoiled the Aussie love-in at the back by thundering down on Katrina Gorry just as she was receiving the ball from ‘keeper Mackenzie Arnold. With all the obedience of a boomerang, the ball soon returned to Arnold, at speed, from the boot of Williams, and the new-look West Ham, whose season of misery was recently forgotten behind back-to-back wins, suddenly seemed to be a flash in the pan.
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Happily, though, Rehanne Skinner encouraged her lot to get their shit together over half-time. I don’t know, probably Hammers forward Vivianne Asseyi was more concerned by sealing her side’s survival than embarrassing Manchester United — who can say, maybe she just wanted to score a really wicked goal, a budget version of the Sam Kerr semi-final screamer that Matildas fans all obsess over but, ultimately, sadly, meant absolutely fuck all.
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Seriously, though, what a goal that was 🤧
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Back to Marc's misery. After Asseyi’s leveller, there were five minutes left for Manchester United to retake the lead that would help them to keep pace with Arsenal in the race for third place, and a space on next season’s Champions League (famously wrong) qualifying paths.
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He’s feeling good, he’s feeling confident, the time is ticking, but he’s the man — wait. Suddenly, Marc goes white with horror. He clutches at his breast pocket, whips out the GAP receipt upon which he has scribbled down his half-time talk, remembering with a whimper that the task of re-rolling his turtle neck had kept him from delivering his one crucial instruction: Score another goal.
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The panic is fleeting. He quickly remembers that this is still the players’ fault.
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His rehearsal of the explanation he will give to the Sky cameras in a few minutes’ time is interrupted by a roar of encouragement from the travelling fans. He looks up to see that Williams has charged down a clearance by Arnold and is through on goal, with only the empty net before her.
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I knew this would happen, he thinks, this is why I started Rachel in this game rather than bring her off the bench like I would normally. Maybe I am a good football manager, maybe Mum was right all along. Maybe I’m the best football manager in the world…
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It's the best day ever. Williams has thrown herself under the bus before he got the chance to do it himself.
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“We should have won the game,” Skinner (actually) said. “We've had enough chances to win the game - enough clear cut chances, not even half-chances.
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“We'll be disappointed to have dropped two points. We should win the game.
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“I know my players will be in there thinking that we've had enough good chances to win that game.”
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Win the game. Won the game. Winning the game. Shoulda won the game. Should win it. Wish we’d won it. Love winning. I’m a winner. Watch out, here comes Skinner the Winner and the players hell-bent on keeping him from his destiny.
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Arsenal manager Jonas Eidevall got all misty-eyed after Sunday's sell-out North London Derby: “I was thinking about the quote from Dennis Bergkamp when he said: ‘When you start supporting a football club, you don’t support it because of the trophies, or a player, or history, you support it because you found yourself somewhere there; found a place where you belong.’ That’s what makes me extremely proud, being able to say that we’ve found a place where 60,000 people feel that they belong."
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Last month, Arsenal broke the Women's Super League attendance record as 60,160 fans showed up to watch them beat Manchester United at the Emirates. On Sunday, 110 fewer supporters turned out, which failed to break the record but, when growing the game in a sustainable way, consistency counts for more than sensation.
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It was fitting that the Gunners' 1-0 win against Spurs was routine, dull. An ordinary attendance for an ordinary game.
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It's not just about numbers or gate receipts, either. How many of those 60,000 people thought they'd never make a habit out of a nice day out at the football? It's fair to say the people in the offices at Arsenal FC have absolutely cracked it.
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As it happens, not all ACLs are askew at Cobham. As Fishel and Kerr step onto the long and frustrating road to recovery, teammate Catarina Macario is crossing the finishing line. That's the beauty of the humble Anterior Cruciate Ligament. It's all chaos and disaster on the day it strikes, but months later, the club get a personnel boost akin to a new signing. Well. USA forward Macario saw it a bit differently.
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"After 21 months, 641 days, endless hours of rehabilitation, and many many tears later, I’m so overwhelmed with emotions," she began on Instagram, the morning after she made her return for Chelsea away at Leicester City. "To say this journey has been the most challenging period of my life is an understatement.
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"I went through so many setbacks, so many heartbreaks and doubts, that I thought at times that I would never be able to play football again. But, last night made every single struggle and hardship worth it."
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During her rehab, the 24-year-old missed the opportunity to represent her country at the 2023 World Cup, as well as trading two years of football experience for clapping herself on the back when she managed to walk or bear weight or kick a ball again.
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But the omens are good. In a trajectory not dissimilar from Beth Mead's, Macario was just coming into her own when the ol' ACL stopped her in her tracks. But look at Mead-o now. And Macario, who waited two years to kick a ball competitively, and just six minutes to put the ball in the back of the net when subbed on at the King Power Stadium.
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Like she's never been away.
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Spiritually: Top of the League
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Actually: Leeds United Women are failing to take the chances to get the results that would put them there.
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