During the 2003 invasion, Iraq’s Information Minister was a bloke called Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf. He used to appear in front of the cameras to declare the invaders were being repelled and soon to be defeated, even as American tanks rolled in behind him. Quite rightly, people pointed out it was ridiculous. Then he’d appear a few days later, statues toppling around him, to say the same stuff. In the same way as those troops were still nowhere near Baghdad, Leeds are nowhere near the relegation zone. Leeds United have never played this well. Everything is perfect. Speak it into existence, Jesse!

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