Really? Are we doing this again already? I don’t know if I’m ready. Still adjusting to calling ‘this season’ ‘last season’ and ‘next season’ ‘this season’. But given you’re reading this at some point after that threshold, let’s at least project a rhetorical sense of certainty. The end of ‘last’ season (there we go) was exhausting. I’ve done to death picking over the bones of last year’s failures, but the hangover of regret is still lingering like a fog.

‘This season’ (nailed it) doesn’t feel real yet. I don’t even really know who plays for Leeds United at the moment and I’m even less certain who will be playing for us by the end of August. I’ve taken a deliberately hands-off approach to the frenzied busybodying of the transfer window. ‘Have you heard that so-and-so might be coming to [insert either Sheffield club]?’ Don’t care. ‘Leeds are in for such-and-such!’ None of my business. ‘GRAHAM SMYTH IS PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!’ Okay.

⬢

To read the rest of this article, you need to join TSB+ — members get access to this plus extra podcast and video episodes, all podcasts advert-free, can read every issue of our magazine online and much more. You can join or log in below.