Fun, if you like it

Newcastle United 0-0 Leeds United: The best of it

Written by: Moxcowhite • Daniel Chapman
Leeds and Newcastle players having a good old scuffle in the rain, with Illan Meslier in the middle looking thoroughly unflapped

Reasons why football is the best sport, number however many you needed, plus one: because sometimes a team has to work even harder to get one point than three. Stick that little element in with all the others in this match — like the rain and the wind and the fog, all Newcastle’s own fault for being upon Tyne — and you get what we got, Bruno Guimarães and Callum Wilson frothing in the mud about nothing but their own frustrations while Illan Meslier, whipping through them with his clean sheet, rolled his eyes, bored into laughing.

This game took a long time to get to that point. It began with Guimarães on the field in a bright yellow and green Pele tribute jersey, indistinguishable from the away shirts Newcastle used to wear back before, in exchange for their souls, they were ordered into Saudi Arabia’s colours. A robotic voice boomed that the crowd should ‘Enjoy the game’, like a threat, and the match began, Leeds oddly dressing themselves, white shorts going with their stilton shirts on the confusing orders of Adidas.

How much the crowd enjoyed what followed depends on what each person in it expected. Newcastle are unbeaten at St James’ Park this season, where Brentford lost 5-1 and Aston Villa 4-0, and Guimarães and Wilson’s rage stood for all of them by the end. All your Geordies must have thought they’d win this.

From Leeds, it’s easier to take the result than enjoy the game, but why not allow yourself to do the difficult thing this time? Most of us expected the same result Newcastle did. The point, and the clean sheet, were won — well, drawn, but it applies — through effort, the most prized of Leeds United’s historic qualities. And also despite the incredible dumbness of playing set-piece roulette with Kieran Trippier, surviving with deep thanks to Meslier for his recovery from glandular fever and his afternoon’s work, and to whoever was watching over his goalmouth with him. The stats show nine corners to Newcastle, plus seven free-kicks in Trippier’s favoured zones. Read that and shudder, and be relieved the stats don’t show so easily that, from those, Fabian Schär headed wide while unmarked, a ball was headed down to Dan Burn who couldn’t kick it in the goal from five yards, Sven Botman slid to finish a cross but Meslier saved, Trippier shot into the wall, Schär got the ball at the back post and shot high over the bar, a cross was headed down to Chris Wood and Meslier rushed out to save at his feet, Schär was free again at the back post and Meslier saved brilliantly. None of which includes the dead balls either caught or cleared with relatively luxurious ease. Or the chances from open play.

So there is an argument that Leeds were actually terrible in this game. But the first half, at least, was not all one way. Wilf Gnonto started with a dribble and a shot over and Newcastle hated every minute of him; he fed Rodrigo a couple of times and it’s worth stressing, again, he’s nineteen and he’s here because we loaned Dan James to Fulham by mistake and he’s our best player. The system worked a couple of times, Tyler Adams winning the ball in midfield and giving it quickly to Brenden Aaronson, whose scampers into the box didn’t turn into clean chances. Jackie Harrison did some similar scrambling/dribbling but shot well wide. No matter how often Jesse Marsch talks about removing stress, Leeds never seem able to replace it with composure. He was back to 4-2-3-1, back to Adams and Harrison, Adam Forshaw staying in midfield instead of Marc Roca or Sam Greenwood, Luke Ayling in at right-back. It was enough, at half-time, to have given us a good game to watch instead of the predicted shoeing.

Newcastle knew what buttons to press — the long balls behind the full-backs, the quick transitions — but couldn’t do it well enough to cause real problems. The scariest thing about them in the first half was noticing that, if you squint, Miguel Almirón looks like our detested former chief executive Shaun Harvey, the sort of thing you can’t stop worrying about once you’ve seen it. There was that, and Chris Wood sprinting onto a pass behind our defenders and down the side and around Meslier, but if I don’t remember Chris Wood finishing many for Leeds from a tight angle, I was familiar with his dumbstruck face after he’d shanked the ball out of play instead of into the empty net. Just before the break, Newcastle claimed a penalty for a foul by Adams that didn’t look great on replay but wasn’t given.

After half-time Leeds either fell apart or found a stronger backbone, depending on how much swing you expected to their attacking on Tyneside. If your answer was none, this was fine, because Leeds could hardly get out of their own half. If your tastes are more about getting out of there with a point and you’re prepared not to worry about how, then have a seat and a cigar and let’s watch that second half again together, only this time we know all’s well that ends well. I have seen better defensive performances from teams, even ones pummelled by this kinda cudgel, and Leeds did make some things harder than they needed to be: Rasmus Kristensen came on to face Allan Saint-Maximin and was no better than a sacrificial lamb slowly rotating on a kebab skewer, while our cheese shirted boys made a general hobby out of giving the ball back to Newcastle every time they could. But I haven’t seen these players do such a sturdy job of making up for their own deficiencies for a long time, and that’s a trait to treasure. Newcastle were seething by stoppage time, and you have to take those wins.

The flip-reverse of this is that even without Pat Bamford or an imaginary number nine, a team that has Aaronson, Harrison, Gnonto and Rodrigo in attack, plus Crysencio Summerville and Joe Gelhardt off the bench, ought to be making more of them. Rodrigo had to stay up alone but Aaronson, bless him, became almost irrelevant to the second half until he got one moment on the ball, minutes from the end, and with a darting run won a dangerous free-kick. What if he’d been given more chances to try that? Even on rough days, there should be some way of getting more out of what possession Leeds do get.

But that feels like something we’re better testing in the games to come: West Ham, Aston Villa, Brentford, Nottingham Forest, (Manchester United), Everton, Southampton. The next two months are storing up a bushel of tempting points that Leeds, after getting through this post-Xmas double-bill with one more point than expected, must plunder. Even if they couldn’t manage it against Manchester City, not being plundered by Newcastle was a welcome treat. It was horrible. I think I enjoyed it. Roll on 2023. ⬢

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