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Flora Snelson

Leeds captain, friend of The Square Ball, and all-round legend Olivia Smart swinging her leg ready to strike a ball against some team in red
Sign my rectum?
Every story needs supporting characters and, this season, Leeds United Women were cast as a bit-part.
Leeds legend Rachel Daly playing for England
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Perfect gnashers
Rachel Daly’s journey through international football has put the game in a better place, writes Flora Snelson.
A snarling Lee Bowyer tackling Middlesbrough's Juninho, who looks like he's already wanting to cry
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Little fella
The problem for Middlesbrough, writes Flora Snelson, was their players who didn’t like the place. Which was very funny.
Bill Ayling playing for Leeds against Ipswich in 2019, just about to fall over with an Ipswich player behind him, a textbook Ayling Flop
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Lucky bastards
Ipswich ended their 2018/19 season in fun style, writes Flora Snelson. If only Leeds had taken the hint.
A photograph of Leeds United Women standing in a post-match huddle
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Bottom of the intray
Amid all the changes since 49ers Enterprises’ takeover, writes Flora Snelson, Leeds United Women are still where they were.
Casper Ankergren and David Healy wearing 2006/07 Leeds shirts that absolutely stink of relegation
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Save us, Lubo
The general consensus was that Leeds' 2006/07 season had been so fucked up that only luck — and Ľubomír Michalík — could save them now.
Ross McCormack scoring the final goal of Neil Warnock's time at Leeds, next to Colin looking as depressed as the fans during that time
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Eff off
Neil Warnock was up to his usual shtick when Derby visited Elland Road on Easter Monday. Ross McCormack had other ideas.
A photograph of Sarah Danby walking out of the tunnel for Leeds United Women with two mascots either side of her
Chicken and egg
Leeds are the only team in Division One North with no dedicated social media account and haven't played at Elland Road since 2022. How do they expect to attract new fans?
A photograph of Sarah Danby playing for Leeds United Women against some team in red
Wheel of fortune
Actually: Leeds United Women are failing to take the chances to get the results that would put them there.
Lucy Bronze preparing to take a throw-in for Barcelona
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Mes Que Messi
Flora Snelson went to wintry Barcelona, seeking that weather that makes Lucy Bronze.
Vinnie Jones singing the national anthem in a Wales kit
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Firework up the arse
Jimmy Greaves thought he'd seen it all — cocaine, bribery, Arsenal scoring two goals, writes Flora Snelson. Even he wasn't ready for Vinnie Jones the Wales international.
Leeds United Women's player Ellie Dobson dribbling with the ball at her feet
Gale force
Ponytails flapping like flags, goalkeepers’ knees knocking at deadballs. “It’s not always easy to come to the north east and play football,” said Olivia Smart.
Leeds United Women walking off the pitch at Garforth celebrating beating FC United of Manchester
Obstacle to the onslaught
It could've been me playing against Leeds United Women in the County Cup. I was relieved it wasn't, until I saw Brighouse's worldie.
A collage of Karen Carney (awful pundit), Joey Barton (awful human being), and Mary Earps (awful football club, but we'll let her off 'cos she's ace)
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Love affairs
Flora Snelson on Bananas in Pyjamas, Barney the Dinosaur, and Joey Barton
Newcastle players mobbing David Batty after he lobbed Neil Sullivan from 35 yards. Honestly, it happened
Unstoppable
For a brief moment in time, writes Flora Snelson, David Batty was lobbing goalkeepers and joint-top goalscorer at Newcastle. Even Alan Shearer was worrying.
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