Joey P hysteria

The false poacher

Written by: Chris McMenamy
Artwork by: Adam Hopkins
A drawing of Joel Piroe, showing the 'Piroe 7' on the back of his white Leeds shirt

After another afternoon of anonymity, I turned to the lad beside me and asked, “Does Piroe actually do anything?” Thirty seconds later, he was tapping in at the back post to give Leeds the lead against Watford. The answer is yes, he does something. He does goals. Perhaps that’s all he does. Is that okay? Is it enough? Well, it’s what we paid Swansea more than £10m for, so it must be enough.

To my untrained eye, Joel Piroe appears to be a modern poacher who Daniel Farke has decided to play as a ‘10’ because it’s Leeds. We do things the Unbelievable Hard™ way here. Always have, always will. The only problem is that a lot of us have spent several years asking nicely for Leeds to be furnished with a proper goalscorer, and now that we have him, we’re not playing him where he’s ‘supposed’ to play.

Instead, we’ve created a role that is wholly new to football: the false poacher. It’s like a traditional goalhanger, but rather than creeping between defenders he’s playing neat little one-twos near the halfway line before gliding into the box to score. How does it work? Who knows. Football magic maybe.

To read the rest of this article, you need to join TSB+ — members get access to this plus extra podcast and video episodes, all podcasts advert-free, can read every issue of our magazine online and much more. You can join or log in below.

Join TSB+

Support TSB and get all this:

TSB+ Monthly

£6.99 p/m

TSB+ Yearly

£4.99 p/m

TSB+ Mag

£5.66 p/m

Other options

TSB Magazine

£1.50 p/m

Gift Memberships

full_badgeCreated with Sketch.

DON'T MISS ANYTHING FROM TSB

Pick your emails:
    240521_PROP
    Big Gap
    propaganda_podcast_2023_thumbnail
    Say What
    240519_MEMBERS_SHOW
    I'm Lovin' It
    members_show_2023_web_thumbnail
    TSB
    Not dippers
    Georginio Rutter, after being subbed off, is picked out by a photographer in the West Stand, as he looks up across the crowds with joy on his face
    The proper stuff
    240516_tmb_norwich_team_alt
    Canaries Caned
    tmb_2324_website_thumbnail_white
    Goodness Me
    240515_PHIL_HAY
    Second Leg
    phil_hay_podcast_2023_thumbnail
    Down To This
    Pat Bamford looking slightly spooked and concerned, as if he's about to take a penalty, superimposed with the view of Elland Road from the penalty area in the background
    Shootout
    240514_PROP
    Forty
    propaganda_podcast_2023_thumbnail
    Get Sweaty